The calibre of kids coming through schools today is outstanding. Every year we hear more and more “A student” success stories. The school systems have expanded and a lot of schools now focus on the emotional education of their students as well as academic education. I believe this will prove to be extremely beneficial as they go on in life.

 I work with people wanting to make a change in their lives be it professionally or personally. Through my own self development work and that with my clients the one thing I know to be true is that the things that affect us or hold us back in our adult years are nearly always a result of events from our teenage years.  And 8 out of 10 times it can be associated back to our parents.

 Let me share with you one of my own personal experiences to help you understand further.

When I sat my Junior Cert I was awarded 9 out of 10 honours. I got a pass in English, a subject that my teacher kept telling me that I was not “naturally gifted” in. None the less I was so proud of myself. On the day I received my results my Dad joked with me by saying “What happened to the other Honour?”.I remember when he said it, even though it was not at all meant in a vindictive way, I felt I had not put enough work in.  This statement was to shape the next 15 years of my life and I did not find out why until I went through my own NLP Coaching.

 From that moment on I turned into an extremely conscientious student. I studied extremely hard for my leaving cert and went on to do very well in college and any other courses I decided to sit. But there was always a part of me that felt I could do more and I always wanted to own my own business with the aim to help other people. I tried 3 times to open my own business but never took that last step from “employee” to “self employed”. I then decided to get NLP Coaching and during a life changing session when I was working on why I could never take that last step, I discovered that the root cause was that statement! It turned out that I was so afraid of letting my Dad down again (even though I didn’t in the first place!) that I never let myself take a step until I KNEW I would succeed. This was buried in my unconscious mind and five days after I made this realization and released it, I opened my own business and I have never looked back.

So why did this happen? Well during our teenage years we go from the Modelling period to the socialization period in our lives. During the modelling period we begin to filter information coming in forming boundaries between the conscious and unconscious minds. During the socialization period we start to interact with the world and reinforce these “boundaries” based on our beliefs, attitudes etc.

At this point I would like to say that yes this statement had a negative effect on me and my life but it also had a positive effect in that I worked hard all my life to become successful. I just couldn’t take that last step to where I wanted to be, but the main thing is I am there now. Once I figured out what was stopping me I embraced the change in me and opened my own company. And to add to that, amazingly I now write on an almost daily basis and I am planning to publish a book within the year. So much for my English teacher telling me I was not “naturally gifted”. I’ve always done my best and its got me to where I am today.

I believe the important message to take from this story is that constant encouragement can only have positive effects on your children’s life, behaviour, actions and indeed results. The grades they get don’t have to reflect on the decisions they will make for the rest of their lives. The important thing to remember is that they are encouraged to do their best – their very best at anything they turn their hands and minds to. If they can get into the habit of that, they start to believe in themselves and be proud of their achievements. When I come across students who say they just can’t do something, I ask the question

“If you can do this, the thing you think you can’t do, if you can learn how to do it and be proud of the effort you put in, then what else do you think you will be able to accomplish?”

I think people should always do the things they think they can’t to push the boundaries and to prove to them-selves they are better than they think they are.

Every person in this world is capable of anything they set their minds to. The sooner that people believe that they can do it and start to see success in their lives, to be able to stand over their achievements and say I could not have done any more, then a habit is formed and life becomes one long success story. It’s the constant encouragement and guidance we get from our parents that sets a very strong foundation for this.

Breda Stackpool – helps people take their brain pain away.
Master NLP Performance Consultant
Performance Consulting | Accelerated Goal Achievement | Depression Buster | Personal Power Breakthroughs

Tel:  +353 (0)86 629 3760 Mail:breda@perfectplansforlife.com  Web: http://perfectplansforlife.com/

Perfect Plans For Life is dedicated to help clients figure out what is stopping you achieving your dreams and eliminating it. Everyone can have the life they want. Sometimes we need a good guide to help us get there.