Sex Educator
Joan Broderick of Str8talking is a Registered General Nurse who has developed and delivered sex education programmes to primary, secondary and third level students, to parents of school children and offers teachers support and guidance. Along with her professional background in nursing Joan has qualifications in Sexual Health & Family Planning, Health Promotion & Counselling and has trained with the DoE&S second level SPHE/ RSE & mental health.
Str8talking through Tots2Teens provides sex education programmes facilitated by an experienced nurse with extensive training & experience of working within the education sector in Ireland.
For more details on our Sex Educator click here.
Some Recent Questions:
Q. My 14 year old daughter is very keen to attend an under 18’s disco. I am reluctant to allow her as I feel that she is quite immature. While I am assured that there is no alcohol and that its supervised, I do worry about how she would react to male attention.
How can I have an open conversation with her about her sexual knowledge without alienating her.
A. The first thing to remember is that you must believe in yourself and have faith in your own ability as a parent. This means making a decision and sticking to it. Before making the decision it would be good to know all the facts. Your 14 year old is growing up and testing boundaries. It is reassuring to hear of the supervision and no alcohol policy. I would recommend discrete enquiries with the event organizers that would support this information. Your daughter’s immaturity and ability to handle social scenes with boys is all part of growing up and learning appropriate behavior is part of the process. This is where you come in as a parent.
Decide as parent/parents what is acceptable on this occasion for you. Your response to changing circumstances, i.e. adjusting to your child becoming a young adult with their own decision making skills, own thoughts and own beliefs are crucial. I can’t tell you if your daughter is ready for the disco, only you can decide this one. But I can tell you that you will need to negotiate this issue if not for now then for future requests. Find a solution as each issue arises and stick to your decisions over the 2-3 years. Pick the battles with care, give a little when you can and don’t be over critical of your daughter. Play for time if you can’t make a decision, defer the answer. If you have a partner/husband always make a joint decision prior to telling your child the answer. Teenagers need realistic and positive support and communication is probably the single most important aspect of parenting a teenager. Communication helps to avoid conflict or to resolve a conflict and will establish a foundation based on mutual respect.
Having a chat with your daughter may be difficult initially, especially if you have not brought up the area of sexuality before. Most teenagers respond well to be treated in an adult manner and if asked their opinion in the right environment may determine if they come back to you for answers and advice the next time. Teenagers need to hear the words from parents, especially around relationships. T.V. programmes can open up discussion, or perhaps your child may tell you a story about someone else’s problems or issues. Use these opportunities to talk. If the timing is not right arrange a time to suit you both and stick to it.
It’s never too late being open and honest with your children. Relationships and sexuality is a big subject, and talking through your fears for them will help them understand where you are coming from. Your daughter needs to have the right facts to make informed decisions. If you don’t feel equipped to give exact information there is help available through www.irishhealth.com www.ifpa.ie or www.crisispregnancy.ie and there are other agencies which are targeted to young teenagers www.spunout.ie or www.youth.ie . Good luck.
